New Super Mario Bros. Review

For every gamer there comes a time when a game that you desperately want to love, a game that you've been waiting for and followed for years, is finally released and you almost want to force yourself to love it, even when you know it isn't all that good. New Super Mario Bros. is that game for me, and while it does have some fantastic moments, it just has too many problems besetting it to justify calling it a great Mario game. New Super Mario Bros. for the Nintendo DS takes the classic 2D Mario platformer formula and infuses it with a new 3D visual design, new moves and new features. Suffice it to say, this isn't the Mario you remember and, it's a shame too, because this Mario game isn't much to get excited about.

As the first 2D Mario platformer to be released in fifteen years, calling New Super Mario Bros. a disappointment is something of an understatement. As expected, the story here is virtually non-existent and similar to every Mario game before it-- Princess Peach is kidnapped by Bowser Jr. and it's the duty of everyone's favorite Italian plumber to save her. Like its 2d predecessors, the goal of New Super Mario Bros. is to get Mario to the end of each level, and on your way you'll jump on numerous goombas, koopas, turtles and a few new enemies to boot. Classic Mario platforming is still intact here-- simple goals that are made difficult by platforming and clever enemy placement, but the experience is hampered by many of the game's new features and moves.

Two moves normally seen in 3D Mario games have been implemented in New Super Mario Bros.: butt stomping and wall jumping. Butt stomping is used to break through a series of stacked blocks, or to deal extra damage to a boss. Wall jumping gives Mario the ability to grab a wall and slowly slide down, giving him the chance to jump towards another wall, or to an otherwise, unreachable platform. You'll use these techniques at times to find hidden secrets or to collect normally unreachable star coins. The problem is, these moves also make the game too easy and too forgiving. Wall jumping can often be used to save yourself from falling to an untimely death, where in any other Mario game, you would've been long dead. A bigger issue is the use of the butt stomp on bosses; landing one does the damage equivalent of two normal jumps, and with bosses only ever needing three normal jumps to defeat them, it makes boss fights very easy and very short-lived. And to even further simplify matters, someone thought it a wise design choice to allow Mario to inflict damage when he has his fire flower ability, letting the player spam the boss with fireballs and defeat him within a matter of seconds. Genius.

Boss fights also prove to be very disappointing-- while the main bosses are rather diverse in design, they're also wholly forgettable and needlessly easy. Super Mario World on the other hand had a number of bosses, many of whom needed to be defeated in ways that didn't involve jumping on their heads three times. Far more upsetting than the final-level boss fights are the mid-level boss fights, all against Bowser Jr. and all shamefully easy to complete. Remember what I said about those varied, fun and often challenging Super Mario World bosses, well Bowser Jr. takes that idea, drags it out back behind the barn and plugs it with a few shotgun rounds. All that remains are repetitive, dull and easy battles against Bowser Jr, and the best part is, you get to fight him in every damn world! He does learn a few new tricks as you progress, and one could say that he becomes more difficult because of that, but in reality, his new moves include: moving from side to side, rather than standing waiting for you to hit him; hiding in his shell right before Mario jumps on him, which is pretty easy to remember to avoid, so long as you are over five years old; and tossing a shell at you, which admittedly would require the mind of an eight year old to realize that you have to jump on the shell and toss it back at him. Once he learns his shell tossing trick, he stops increasing in difficulty and remains painfully easy until the end of the game.

Thankfully, the level design is mostly solid, providing good variety in regards to the environments and the platforming. There are no levels in the game that will truly test your abilities, but some, especially later levels, can provide a decent challenge. Another new feature in the game, one that I actually welcome, is collecting star coins. In each level, there are three star coins to collect, many of which are hidden away, or require a special power-up to reach. The coins can then be used to unlock new levels and Toad houses that provide you with power-ups. The star coins can add to the challenge of the game and provide some replay value, if you happen to be interested in collected them all.

As challenging as some of the later levels can be, it's all for naught when, by the end of the game, you'll easily have well over forty lives. No other Mario game has provided quite as many opportunities for gaining 1-ups as in this game: whether it's as a giant Mario, where you're rewarded with 1-ups as you move to the right and destroy the level you're currently in, gaining more 1-ups with the more you destroy (a hefty challenge, forcing you to think fast by holding the d-pad to the right); through the Red Coin challenges, where you must collect the red coins that appear before time runs out; by besting one Hammer Bro who moves around the world map; visiting one of the many 1-up houses on the world map, where you play a game of luck that can lead to you winning a dozen 1-ups, if you hit the jackpot; and finally, through good ol' fashioned coin collecting. You could just as easily avoid most of those opportunities to gain extra 1-ups, if you so desired, but you would still find yourself with an overabundance of lives, thanks to the game's forgiving nature.

While this review may make it appear as though I'm ready to give this game a 1/5, it's difficult to argue the fact that, regardless of its many problems, the game is still fun. As much as Nintendo alienates its core audience by pandering to a wider demographic and making the game more forgiving, it is still fun. As much as I wish that the game provided more of a challenge, more secrets, and more diverse boss fights, the game still succeeds in providing an enjoyable Mario game that caters to a very wide audience. I suppose I could take solace in the fact that this game has likely opened up Mario to a new, younger generation and enticed back those from the older generation, who had since left Mario behind-- that's too logical for me though, I think I'll stick to the fanboy rhetoric of "NINTENDO IZ RUEING GAMEING!!11!"

3/5

The Thing Review

Who is real, and who is the Thing--that question infuses John Carpenter's film, The Thing. The theme of an enemy within was hardly an original one; used predominantly in films during the 1950's as anti-communist sentiment, and to scare the American public into keeping an eye open for those evil pinko commie bastards. Released in 1982, to an American audience no longer interested in McCarthy-era monster movies, The Thing gained little commercial attention upon its release. Unappreciated then, today the film is a cult classic and is widely considered one of the best in the horror and science fiction genres.

The film takes place on a remote Antarctic research station populated by a handful of men who appear to do little more than drink, smoke and watch taped episodes of television shows--all an effort to remain sane and keep alive some semblance of American society. Without divulging significant plot details, the alien creature finds its way into the base and soon enough it shows its true form, as a deformed, constantly changing creature, seemingly plucked from the mind of a psychopath. Through an autopsy, the men realize that this creature takes on the form of its host and can perfectly imitate that which it inhabits. Communication breaks down as the men realize that any one of them could be the Thing, and soon the men begin to exhibit the true monsters that humans become when an unknown threat enters their environment.

A bleak and nihilistic rumination on the collapse of communication and human camaraderie in a time of panic and uncertainty, The Thing depicts human nature as naturally corrupted and monstrous. The film does a magnificent job of creating a claustrophobic and tense atmosphere with assistance from a terrific score by Ennio Morricone. Alternating between a claustrophobic atmosphere when inside the base and an open isolation when outside, creates an interesting juxtaposition of claustrophobia surrounded by isolation. Playing with a cultural fear of AIDS, the film becomes that much more frightening when exploring the theme of bodies revolting against itself. Owing no small part to the film's effectiveness are the practical special effects; considered to be among the greatest ever put to celluloid, they result in some of the most revolting, nightmare-inducing images in the horror genre.

The cast, led by Kurt Russell's beard, stealing every scene it appears in, is mostly strong with moments of overacting. Kurt Russell, the man behind the beard, does an excellent job of humanizing R.J. MacReady; never depicted as a boy scout trying to keep the men together, instead he becomes monstrous himself at times. The rest of the cast is uniformly solid, and while there are moments of overacting among members of the supporting cast, those moments are few and far apart.

While overshadowed during its release by E.T., a somewhat similar alien movie, minus the violence, cynicism, snow... and really everything except for the presence of an alien, The Thing stands today as one of the best horror/sci-fi films of all time. Well shot and well acted, the film's true strength lies in its writing an atmosphere. Although films such as The Invasion of the Body Snatchers and It Came From Outer Space had similar themes and were released prior to The Thing, they cannot match the intensity or fear that comes from watching this film.

5/5