Drag Me To Hell Review

Writer/director Sam Raimi is back in the horror fold after a nearly ten-year absence from the genre that started his career. Fans of Raimi's Evil Dead trilogy rose up in excitement upon hearing the news that the director would return to horror with this film, but then quickly became trepidacious when the movie was given a PG-13 rating. Surely a horror film can not possibly be enjoyable without buckets of blood and gratuitous female nudity-- as we all realize, PG-13 films such as Poltergeist, Psycho, Gremlins, Tremors, Jaws, and virtually every horror film made before the 1960's were all mediocre at best (unlike quality R-rated horror like the upcoming Sorority Row). Worried fans can calm their nerves though, Drag Me to Hell returns Raimi back to his roots as a sylish, inventive and unique filmmaker.

Christine Brown (Alison Lohman) has a great job at a bank, a boyfriend that loves her (Justin Long), and even has a kitten (Ben Affleck). Everything changes, of course, when the elderly and phlemy gypsy Mrs. Ganush, (Lorna Raver) comes into the bank to stop a foreclosure on her home. With the chance to earn the Assistant Manager position she's vying for, Christine denies the old woman a third extension on her mortgage. Clearly Christine hasn't watched or read Thinner, because soon afterward, she learns that she has been cursed, and after three days of torment, the assailing spirit will drag her down into hell itself. If the plot seems a little thin and contrived, that's likely because it is, but it is within convention that Raimi succeeds in being unconventional.

Scenes of torment begin with the usual elements of specific lighting, camera angles and sounds-- Raimi knows that we know the usual rhythms for these things, and he deliberately plays with them, holding a scary note for an extra long time, or waiting an extra beat before cutting loose. And sure enough, Raimi goes all out when a confrontation takes place, but it's impossible to discuss in detail without spoiling some of the best moments of the film. I will say though, I feel the use of stationary and livestock in this film is second to none. But, again, Raimi is careful to make sure the gross-out stuff produces smiles and not vomit. While his trademark dark sense of humor oozes throughout the production, even at its most hopeful, you can’t shake the main character’s sense of impending doom, driving her further into desperation. What is also interesting about the character of Christine is that she isn’t weak-willed or an easy victim; she fights back every chance she gets and you can’t help but want to see her succeed.

The film isn't entirely without fault though-- the CG used in the film, while minimal, isn't always particularly good, especially when practical effects are used to greater affect in other scenes. The ending is also entirely predictable after a key scene towards the end of the film, but it’s so well done and fantastic to watch that you don’t care.

Drag Me to Hell is Sam Raimi's love letter to Evil Dead fans, and proof positive that years in the corporate machine making those Arachnid-Boy movies (or whatever they're called), never separated him from his roots as a unique filmmaker with a sick, twisted, but very funny mind.

Welcome back Mr. Raimi, the horror genre has missed you greatly.

4.5/5

A Hard Day's Night Review

Movies starring and revolving around the lives of musicians tend to get a bad rap, perhaps because that library of films includes: Spice World, Can't Stop the Music, Glitter, Cool As Ice and the more recent Hannah Montana and Jonas Brothers films. Amidst all that competition, A Hard Day's Night rises above as a thoroughly enjoyable film starring the Fab Four. As a Beatles fan the film is virtually impossible to dislike when it's little more than a vehicle for the Beatles to fool around and play a few songs.

The film contains something resembling a plot, but it serves no other purpose than to place the Beatles in new settings where they can act zany and fire off a number of clever quips. The Beatles are traveling to a television studio to perform a live concert, and along the way they run from many a screaming fan, joke around, get into trouble and perform a few songs every now and again. Along on the ride with John, Paul, George, and Ringo are Paul's grandfather and the troupe's two managers, who fruitlessly attempt to keep the quartet and Paul's grandfather in containment.

Even while being obedient and participating in interviews, the boys can't help but mock the questions with dry wit and deadpan humor-- when asked "what you would call that hairstyle you're wearing", George responds with "Arthur". Embedded with influence from the Marx Brothers, the film seeks to never take itself seriously and instead mocks those in the film who take themselves seriously. The Beatles have always been about individualism and the film exemplifies that quality perfectly; rather than stay locked up in a dressing room, the boys escape to run amok in a open field, like school children. The bandmates play exaggerated versions of themselves (or what was marketed as themselves), with Paul as the pretty ladies-man, John as the sardonic and witty one, George as the quiet one and Ringo as the butt of everyone's jokes.

The Beatles' evocation of a spirit of individuality was ironic considering the clone-like appearance of the band, and the many lies about the band members maintained to keep with their public persona's. John was married and had a child at the time of the film's release and the boys were all from lower-class families, yet they dressed and acted as middle-class chaps-- their lighthearted, whimsical nature, polite manners and clever wit were all traits attributed to Britain's middle-class youth.

I'd be remiss if I didn't at least briefly mention the music that plays a rather large role in the film; It's quite good. I suppose I should be a little more specific-- coming from the earlier part of their career, the music in the film is comprised of catchy pop tunes like Can't Buy Me Love, Tell Me Why, She Loves You and I Should Have Known Better. Regardless of which Beatles era you prefer, any fan of the band is sure to have a smile on their face for the entirety of the film. A Hard Day's Night is from a bygone era where pop bands could be appreciated by people over the age of twelve, the band members (while marketed similarly today) had at least one iota of talent and unlike any other music film, it's wholly enjoyable.

5/5

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New Super Mario Bros. Review

For every gamer there comes a time when a game that you desperately want to love, a game that you've been waiting for and followed for years, is finally released and you almost want to force yourself to love it, even when you know it isn't all that good. New Super Mario Bros. is that game for me, and while it does have some fantastic moments, it just has too many problems besetting it to justify calling it a great Mario game. New Super Mario Bros. for the Nintendo DS takes the classic 2D Mario platformer formula and infuses it with a new 3D visual design, new moves and new features. Suffice it to say, this isn't the Mario you remember and, it's a shame too, because this Mario game isn't much to get excited about.

As the first 2D Mario platformer to be released in fifteen years, calling New Super Mario Bros. a disappointment is something of an understatement. As expected, the story here is virtually non-existent and similar to every Mario game before it-- Princess Peach is kidnapped by Bowser Jr. and it's the duty of everyone's favorite Italian plumber to save her. Like its 2d predecessors, the goal of New Super Mario Bros. is to get Mario to the end of each level, and on your way you'll jump on numerous goombas, koopas, turtles and a few new enemies to boot. Classic Mario platforming is still intact here-- simple goals that are made difficult by platforming and clever enemy placement, but the experience is hampered by many of the game's new features and moves.

Two moves normally seen in 3D Mario games have been implemented in New Super Mario Bros.: butt stomping and wall jumping. Butt stomping is used to break through a series of stacked blocks, or to deal extra damage to a boss. Wall jumping gives Mario the ability to grab a wall and slowly slide down, giving him the chance to jump towards another wall, or to an otherwise, unreachable platform. You'll use these techniques at times to find hidden secrets or to collect normally unreachable star coins. The problem is, these moves also make the game too easy and too forgiving. Wall jumping can often be used to save yourself from falling to an untimely death, where in any other Mario game, you would've been long dead. A bigger issue is the use of the butt stomp on bosses; landing one does the damage equivalent of two normal jumps, and with bosses only ever needing three normal jumps to defeat them, it makes boss fights very easy and very short-lived. And to even further simplify matters, someone thought it a wise design choice to allow Mario to inflict damage when he has his fire flower ability, letting the player spam the boss with fireballs and defeat him within a matter of seconds. Genius.

Boss fights also prove to be very disappointing-- while the main bosses are rather diverse in design, they're also wholly forgettable and needlessly easy. Super Mario World on the other hand had a number of bosses, many of whom needed to be defeated in ways that didn't involve jumping on their heads three times. Far more upsetting than the final-level boss fights are the mid-level boss fights, all against Bowser Jr. and all shamefully easy to complete. Remember what I said about those varied, fun and often challenging Super Mario World bosses, well Bowser Jr. takes that idea, drags it out back behind the barn and plugs it with a few shotgun rounds. All that remains are repetitive, dull and easy battles against Bowser Jr, and the best part is, you get to fight him in every damn world! He does learn a few new tricks as you progress, and one could say that he becomes more difficult because of that, but in reality, his new moves include: moving from side to side, rather than standing waiting for you to hit him; hiding in his shell right before Mario jumps on him, which is pretty easy to remember to avoid, so long as you are over five years old; and tossing a shell at you, which admittedly would require the mind of an eight year old to realize that you have to jump on the shell and toss it back at him. Once he learns his shell tossing trick, he stops increasing in difficulty and remains painfully easy until the end of the game.

Thankfully, the level design is mostly solid, providing good variety in regards to the environments and the platforming. There are no levels in the game that will truly test your abilities, but some, especially later levels, can provide a decent challenge. Another new feature in the game, one that I actually welcome, is collecting star coins. In each level, there are three star coins to collect, many of which are hidden away, or require a special power-up to reach. The coins can then be used to unlock new levels and Toad houses that provide you with power-ups. The star coins can add to the challenge of the game and provide some replay value, if you happen to be interested in collected them all.

As challenging as some of the later levels can be, it's all for naught when, by the end of the game, you'll easily have well over forty lives. No other Mario game has provided quite as many opportunities for gaining 1-ups as in this game: whether it's as a giant Mario, where you're rewarded with 1-ups as you move to the right and destroy the level you're currently in, gaining more 1-ups with the more you destroy (a hefty challenge, forcing you to think fast by holding the d-pad to the right); through the Red Coin challenges, where you must collect the red coins that appear before time runs out; by besting one Hammer Bro who moves around the world map; visiting one of the many 1-up houses on the world map, where you play a game of luck that can lead to you winning a dozen 1-ups, if you hit the jackpot; and finally, through good ol' fashioned coin collecting. You could just as easily avoid most of those opportunities to gain extra 1-ups, if you so desired, but you would still find yourself with an overabundance of lives, thanks to the game's forgiving nature.

While this review may make it appear as though I'm ready to give this game a 1/5, it's difficult to argue the fact that, regardless of its many problems, the game is still fun. As much as Nintendo alienates its core audience by pandering to a wider demographic and making the game more forgiving, it is still fun. As much as I wish that the game provided more of a challenge, more secrets, and more diverse boss fights, the game still succeeds in providing an enjoyable Mario game that caters to a very wide audience. I suppose I could take solace in the fact that this game has likely opened up Mario to a new, younger generation and enticed back those from the older generation, who had since left Mario behind-- that's too logical for me though, I think I'll stick to the fanboy rhetoric of "NINTENDO IZ RUEING GAMEING!!11!"

3/5

The Thing Review

Who is real, and who is the Thing--that question infuses John Carpenter's film, The Thing. The theme of an enemy within was hardly an original one; used predominantly in films during the 1950's as anti-communist sentiment, and to scare the American public into keeping an eye open for those evil pinko commie bastards. Released in 1982, to an American audience no longer interested in McCarthy-era monster movies, The Thing gained little commercial attention upon its release. Unappreciated then, today the film is a cult classic and is widely considered one of the best in the horror and science fiction genres.

The film takes place on a remote Antarctic research station populated by a handful of men who appear to do little more than drink, smoke and watch taped episodes of television shows--all an effort to remain sane and keep alive some semblance of American society. Without divulging significant plot details, the alien creature finds its way into the base and soon enough it shows its true form, as a deformed, constantly changing creature, seemingly plucked from the mind of a psychopath. Through an autopsy, the men realize that this creature takes on the form of its host and can perfectly imitate that which it inhabits. Communication breaks down as the men realize that any one of them could be the Thing, and soon the men begin to exhibit the true monsters that humans become when an unknown threat enters their environment.

A bleak and nihilistic rumination on the collapse of communication and human camaraderie in a time of panic and uncertainty, The Thing depicts human nature as naturally corrupted and monstrous. The film does a magnificent job of creating a claustrophobic and tense atmosphere with assistance from a terrific score by Ennio Morricone. Alternating between a claustrophobic atmosphere when inside the base and an open isolation when outside, creates an interesting juxtaposition of claustrophobia surrounded by isolation. Playing with a cultural fear of AIDS, the film becomes that much more frightening when exploring the theme of bodies revolting against itself. Owing no small part to the film's effectiveness are the practical special effects; considered to be among the greatest ever put to celluloid, they result in some of the most revolting, nightmare-inducing images in the horror genre.

The cast, led by Kurt Russell's beard, stealing every scene it appears in, is mostly strong with moments of overacting. Kurt Russell, the man behind the beard, does an excellent job of humanizing R.J. MacReady; never depicted as a boy scout trying to keep the men together, instead he becomes monstrous himself at times. The rest of the cast is uniformly solid, and while there are moments of overacting among members of the supporting cast, those moments are few and far apart.

While overshadowed during its release by E.T., a somewhat similar alien movie, minus the violence, cynicism, snow... and really everything except for the presence of an alien, The Thing stands today as one of the best horror/sci-fi films of all time. Well shot and well acted, the film's true strength lies in its writing an atmosphere. Although films such as The Invasion of the Body Snatchers and It Came From Outer Space had similar themes and were released prior to The Thing, they cannot match the intensity or fear that comes from watching this film.

5/5